first thing i noticed while in London, the NYC of Europe

dudes.
they all have way more respect for women
and many have dashing good looks with a charming dimeanor.

i wish there was a way to transport this male type to the brains of American boys.

anywho, london is super cool.
such an awesome big city.
the food market i ate at today was incredible.
but fuck, why is the dollar shit compared to the pound.
i may end up selling my body by the end of this trip

till i blog again, miss you loves

cheers!

in 7 hours

I depart for my summer adventures in Europe

I will do my best to reach the e-world and post my thoughts.

past couple days have been rough, but i have learned very much.

things change.

letting go of the past is difficult to do, but maybe its best to fully attack what lies in the future.

I won't ever stop being me.

love me or hate me, I am who I am.

I'll probably never change.

I'm just really glad I have some awesome people at my side,

those who are very much like me,

those who get me,

who are at my level.

anywho, wish me luck in the territory unknown.

I hope to return safely in the USA in 5 weeks,

but if not, I know I have lived true and free.

be happy for me, this is me living my dreams :)

this too shall pass.... ;)

digested and ready.

As angry as I sound
That’s just the way I cover up the way I feel.
I've been that way for years and years
Slave to broken hearts and sex appeal

She was a termite
Eating away at my roots.
I was just a lost soul
Who needed a home
I was filling a void with you

sometimes, the dark side must give in.

In a class of their own.

Why do these people become like this?

Nature or nurture?

I'd assume a bit of both. 

The hardest part of letting go is knowing there is no current help for such a disorder.

I hold on to the thought that he was once an innocent boy.

Did he deserve this?

Probably not.

Did he not do something to stop what may have been his destiny?

Who knows.

The best victim was caught.

One that has endless care, desire, and heart to help.

The hardest part to walk away from will always linger within me.

The unanswered questions may never be fulfilled. 

Realization: This is one charity I cannot successfully contribute to.

My Drive:

The only contribution I can make in his honor is to focus on my internal drive to help others.

To cut my losses and focus on what I will become.

The lives I will soon save.

but first...

I have to SAVE MYSELF.